frontier. change.

This is an old poem written for my colleague, Clare Ferguson long long time ago (1997 or 98). I’ve lost her since she’d moved to Spain with her husband. I got a letter from her but the address was hard to be seen. I tried several times but failed to reach her… So if anyone knows her, please let her know that someone from this far-away tiny place is still thinking of her!

Clare, don’t you remember this poem?

Five-week Freedom

poor clare

without husband

for five weeks long

until christmas

what will she do

for all these moments?

bury herself

in the kitchen?

cooking food

without a reason

will she use up

all the saucepans?

to kill the time

pretend her husband

is still by her side

enjoying the mutton…

oh poor woman

if u feel lonesome

just make some phonecalls

and chat with someone

or simply go out

to enjoy the freedom…

the FREEDOM of what?

               to look for a PART-TIME HUSBAND!

All this time   All the time

All the time   When you’re mine

All the trees   All the bees

All the flowers are mine

I’ve got the world

I’ve got the sunshine

‘cos you’re by my side

You’re my source of life

When people are smoking

and dancing

on the ceiling

They never know

that we’re in love

How deep is our love

How long can we hold on

No one would know

But our love will show~

But time has passed

And you were gone

There’s no trees, no bees

Accompany me

The world’s not for me

the sun is so dim

You’re NOT MINE

now you’re by her side

When people are smoking and dancing

On the ceiling

I’m the only one

That’s left behind

The way you kiss her

The way you hold her

You break my heart and

Knock me down

How deep is our love

How long can we hold on

Now I can tell

That our love is, gone.

Stars upon  2/4/2005

D    D  C  E

When we’re apart

D  D D  C

I think of you

D    D   C  E

When days are dark

D  D D  C

I think of you

E     E   D  F

When  you are far

A,  F F  E D

I stay here for you

E     D   E  F

Like   a   moon

A,   E   F E  D

Or like  a loon

D     C   E  C

Bloom with passion

DD   E  C

Blue like songs do

DDDD  CCCC  DDDE

E    E  F  G—

When my sky is

A G F E D   B   C D

Full—-of stars I think of

G F E D C

you———

C DE

I see you

A G F E D          B   C D

Hang around the stars  with sunshine

D D G D E

That shines on me

Why freaks survive

Angry ones lose

Indeed

Only those without love

Are P-O-O-R.

Today I woke up so late—-almost 3:30pm. So late that I felt guilty for myself to have wasted such a beautiful day. It’s probably that I’d stayed up too late last night to create my 1st BLOG.

Where do we go from here (Madonna): To catch up the rest of the sunshine, I dressed up at once but, strange enough, I had no idea of where to go. I wanted to go somewhere but yes, I didn’t know where to go. Madonna’s song ‘…where do we go from here…’ went on and on in my mind. I felt sad. I felt lost. Lost in a place where I’m so familiar with.

I struggled a lot. I wanted to go somewhere but I was afraid to. I didn’t want to be alone. Not for the security reason, but … loneliness, I guess. Finally, I made up my mind to Yuen Long to look for the school that I’m going to as an oral examiner there on Tuesday. I went on the West Rail and waited for a long time for the 76K bus. I watched the sky turn from bright blue to navy.

Nighthawke (Edward Hopper): There weren’t many people. Not as crowded as in the city heart. I felt even more lonely as I went on my way. I asked a few people about the route. I was absolutely an alien there. I sat next to the bus-driver on the bus, watching the winding roads, big old trees in the front and passing by… I’d no idea of what would be ahead. I just knew, I was not supposed to be there. I didn’t belong to there.

Burn (Usher), Dry Your Eyes (The Streets): While I’m listening to these 2 songs on my way, I felt like I was back to Bognor, London, York…I suddenly wanted to leave this place. If I could be here, alone in this wicked Yuen Long, could I be somewhere far? Should I start a new life? I was so blank but I wanted to shed tears. I’m always sensational, emotional. Does this idea mean anything to my future. Would it be something serious. I don’t know…

It’s a beautiful sad day.

Always looking blank

Lying on the bed

I don’t think it’s true

Cos I still love you

Everything’s dead when I’m feeling sad

                    Everything’s sad when I’m feeling so dead…

After a week of dark clouds

The sun finally appears

With its sunshines cast on me

I am nothing but in glee