甚麽緣、甚麽分

偉大見解、感人道理

每次都是講一套、做一套

口說珍惜，卻不行動

緣不增、分不長

虛耗緣分、傷透感情

憧憬、將來？我看不到。

緣緣分分，不用再說。

若放不下自我、放不下尊嚴

不願讓步、不願協議

那就放下感情的擔子

忙忙碌碌的九月 令人喘不過氣

兩個人的距離 有時真的可以相隔很遠

一個月不聞不問

懶理月盈月缺 懶理對方死活

只顧自我麻醉 堅持自大自我

伹不經不覺間 中秋已經臨近

用心細看 市面已瀰漫著熱鬧的氣氛

賣燈籠的 賣月餅的

廣告中都是放影著一幕幕感人的場面

突然間 心裡倍感孤單

回想起來

過往數年裡的中秋 都有著他一起

無論是往誰的家吃飯 都是圓圓滿滿的

真是既熱鬧又温馨

可是此時此刻 好景不再

好幾年的習慣 突然要改變

不知如何是好 心裡確實難過

如此佳節

人月還可會有緣再聚

人月還可會團圓

月亮依然美麗

月亮依然代表我的心

但唯可曾領會、感受?

還可會有人放下執著 

重拾昔日美好的時光?

2007 is a total blank page to me

more than blank, dark page i’d say

the first half went from sweet to bitter

whilst the second is going from 0 to 0

nothing really gained.

or say, such gaining experiences a lot of sacrifices.

worth or not, i am very unsure.

i just know, i’m very exhausted.

body and mind; spirit and soul

all suffer

i don’t know how long i can last

i don’t know what lies ahead

i’ve become so suspicious and superstitious

i’ve lost my ground.

i’ve lost my confidence.

i’ve lost my direction.

i’ve lost myself so much.

i’m on a blank page of my life.

We sit in silence
A marriage license
Is all you know
All you know, all you know

We sit and chew gum
Watch television
And you know
And you know, and you know

But there's oceans between us
Light years that screen us
Oceans that drift away
Oceans that fade to grey

We sit and rot here
Resenting each year
Will you go
Will you go, will you go?

We sing the old songs
The beat box plays on
And you know
And you know, and you know

But there's oceans between us
Light years that screen us
Like oceans we drift away
[Like] oceans we fade to grey

Between us there's oceans
There's life in slow motion
Quietly we drift away
Quietly we fade to grey

by Suede [a hidden track in "A New Morning"]

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

These are what the Bible says.

But why cannot I find them…

where are they

where have all these elements gone to

where is my love

what is my love composed of

God I believe in you

I’ve been working so hard

But still, why love doesn’t come on my way

Is that I’m working on the wrong way, the wrong person

or is that I just don’t worth you to grant me love

if Love is Patient

how much patience do i need

can someone tell me

When love starts

The fire ignites

You embrace wind

You see light at night

You see angels in sky

You feel like to fly

You float in the air

You widen your horizon

You open your heart

You beautify your surroundings

You live a real life

Worries are lighten

Happiness is shared

Half man is then completed

Isn’t love a no-boundary realm

Isn’t love a worry-free utopia

If to love is to restrict

If to love is to cause hatred and anger

If to love is to attack and punish

If to love is to hurt one and another

Love becomes burdens

To love is it to wait, to hold on

or is it to quit

Is to quit to lighten the burden

is to quit to bring peace back

or is to quit to set both free ?

Is true love waits

or Is true love needs to work out

who can tell me

i’m lost

i’m confused

i don’t belong here

見面拖手  不見面就音訊全無

當我最需要 你最想聽到你的聲音的時候

你不單不在我身邊

而且還失踪了

我才發現原來你一點也不想念我

這不是我的失敗嗎

這不是一件悲哀的事嗎

你可明白我的擔心和憂慮

你若不想我胡思亂想 

你若尊重我，並認為我  是你身邊一個重要的人

同樣你也認為你自己  是我身邊一個重要的人

請給我尊重、安全感！

一個短訊  一個電話

一個電郵  一個通知

真的那麼奢侈

真的那麼約束

真的那麼難以啓齒

令你失去尊嚴嗎

我想你多關心我，不只在於大時大節

我想你多明白我，不只在我傷心痛哭時

我失望、心傷

是因為我感受不到 你如何重視我

除了我搬走的那一天，我看不到我在你心目中的位置

由始到終

你都不明白我的心情，也不知道我想你怎樣愛我

不是口說愛就愛了

尊重、關心、體諒、坦誠、安全感……都是愛的元素

若不表達，就容易造成誤解

若不付出，愛就變得了膚淺單薄

你看這麽多年我們究竟建立了怎樣的關係

我們之間的連繫有多密、有多强來抵禦問題？

相處需要溝通，溝通是需要兩個人的

只有單方面一味說，沒有意思

單一方面的想法、處事方法

同時也在互相影響着你我之間的關係！

破壞大家關係的事固然要避免

但可以加强大家溝通的事，何樂不為？

知而不為，等同破壞！

我不懂得改善我們的關係

我會坦然請教朋友、看有關的書籍你可曾正視問題？

你愛我，莫非就只是如此?

你太小看自己了

是你愛我的習慣變得疏懶，不求改善？

還是你自欺欺人，不願面對問題？

除非。

我倆的愛真的已到了

終結。

這幾天我心煩意亂

晚上倍覺孤獨

儘管已放着音樂、抱緊兔仔

每當想這想那 眼淚總是流不停

我覺得自己很迷失

沒有了根

沒有了家

這裡容納了我

伹愛卻離我而去

愛

是重新開始

還是步向死亡

我看不清

見不到將來

天朗氣清

心裡卻污雲密布

我好想想得正面

但此刻

連自己的思想也控制不了

眼淚把枕頭沾濕了一遍又一遍

哭得厲害 甚至想過放棄自己

我可怎樣 有誰明白我

無助、失落令晚上的房間變得可怕

http://netalbum2006.netvigator.com/netalbum2006/servlet/main?act=guestlogin&parentid=1020278370

latest darlings’ gig @ Lab Yellow 21st Jan 2007

I feel you all around me
you are everything i cannot see
as the ocean crawls onto the shoreline
so you lap at the edges of me

and now, as i’m walking
i know that you’re watching me move
for as much as i need you
i must walk away from you

you’re my life, you’re my hope
you’re the chain, you’re the rope
you’re my god, you’re my hell
you’re the sky, you’re myself
you’re the reason i’m living
you’re all that i have to discover

you’re the rain, you’re the stars
you’re so near, you’re so far
you’re my friend, you’re my foe
you’re the miles left to go
you are everything i ever wanted
and you are my lover

so i carry i carry the flowers
the flowers that are dead in my hands
they will rise up at the very sight of you
they will naturally understand
that today is the day
that we find out once and for all
now you know i must leave here
you must let me stand or fall

you’re my life, you’re my hope
you’re the chain, you’re the rope
you’re my god, you’re my hell
you’re the sky, you’re myself
you’re the reason i’m living
you’re all that i have to discover

you’re the rain, you’re the stars
you’re so near, you’re so far
you’re my friend, you’re my foe
you’re the miles left to go
you are everything i ever wanted
and you are my lover

if i leave will you follow can i put my faith in you

you’re my life, you’re my hope
you’re the chain, you’re the rope
you’re my god, you’re my hell

you’re the sky, you’re myself
you’re the reason i’m living
you’re all that i have to discover

you’re the rain, you’re the stars
you’re so near, you’re so far
you’re my friend, you’re my foe
you’re the miles left to go
you are everything i ever wanted
and you are my lover

and i love you now
as i loved you then
but this island life
just had to end
but you will allways be
my special friend
i will carry you with me
and we can love again

now the drizzle
soaks us to the skin
and the stars hang like a noose
so let’s face this together
now this storm is finally though

you’re my life, you’re my hope
you’re the chain, you’re the rope
you’re my god, you’re my hell
you’re the sky, you’re myself
you’re the reason i’m living
you’re all that i have to discover

you’re the rain, you’re the stars
you’re so near, you’re so far
you’re my friend, you’re my foe
you’re the miles left to go
you are everything i ever wanted
and you are my lover

this song speaks my words.

it’s like a tide which ebbs and an ominous swell begins to run in…

run into my deepest part … and swallow me whole…

everything. i. cannot. see.

i want to keep my every single thought in written recounts

but things have been so complicated

the more i recall,

seems… the more i will fall

these are all very treasurable memories

they’re all in my deepest thoughts

thinking about the past.. .the present

how could one believe time and place can cause such a tremendous influence on our feelings

time flies.

we flow. we choke. we sulk. we grow..

what’s next.

everything will flow.

are you sticking to your past

or are you staying with the present

or. are you rushing to the future.

which path are you taking

which route are you riding on

where am i heading for

the paradise of ed, self-love, self-pity, self-ishness.

or the interwoven ever-changing reality of relationships

is love a sacrifice to self-love

or is it an escape to the real self

is it the ending of adventures

or is it the beginning of peace

will there be eternal happiness

will there be forever statisfaction

will there be singleton individualism

will there be couple multiplication

will there be unity

or will there be …what-who-wherever.

………………………………..

try to remember

the kind of september

when time was slow

and so… mellow.

in love with illusion

in love with myself

indulge myself with the mirage

intemperate thoughts in mind